Last week, we asked kids to tell us the story of this illustration by Robbi.
And lots of kids did send us stories—wonderful, imaginative stories. But. With a palpable strain of darkness. Before you read on, we feel compelled to warn you that this post is sad. Sad, sad, sad. Anyone who thinks young writers cannot plumb the depths of tragedy need only read this series of short stories to be convinced that gut-wrenching despair is alive and well in the developing imagination.
Tyler
Sad Pizza
The pizza is sad because everybody’s full so they’re throwing him away. He really wishes somebody would eat him, but he’s being thrown away so he’s super duper sad.
Propelling the reader through a layer of pan-fried metaphor, Tyler writes the tale of an abandoned soul who has been “thrown away” by the society from which he so desperately craves affirmation.
Spencer
A Sad Piece of Pizza
The pizza is sad since its friends can’t play with him because they’ve been eaten. But then someone else eats him. The end.
Following similar themes, Spencer offers a variation. The self-deluded protagonist conjures fantasies to rationalize his isolation. The rejection comes from forces that are absent not because they have rejected him but because they have been destroyed.
Melody
Bob the Slice of Pizza
The piece of pizza is named Bob. He is so unhappy because he has been thrown away into the dump. The people who ordered the pizza Bob was in didn’t eat him because he got old and stale. Bob doesn’t like being in the trash and would rather be eaten up.
The tragedy continues as Melody explores themes of aging and abandonment. Consumption is presented as a metaphor for love; and “trash” as a surrogate for abandonment.
Simon
Somebody Bent Him
He’s being sad all day long. The pizza’s name should be Peter Sam. It does have a family: the family always is happy. The mommy, the daddy, two brothers, and four sisters. He’s sad because he’s bent. Somebody just bent him.
In a refreshing twist, here, the protagonist’s crisis is not environmental. He is surrounded by love and support (from a very large but happy family) but finds himself foiled by unforeseen peril. He has been “bent,” though the narrative is deliberately elusive about the identity and motive of his assailant.
Everett
Untitled
It’s macaroni pizza. Maybe he’s sad because somebody broke him. How about James? [when asked about the pizza’s name]. Maybe he was his brother. I cannot know anything. [paging David Hume] I cannot tell more because I need to eat my bunny crackers.
In this story, Everett sharpens the satire by naming our hero. James has been “broken” by an antagonist that might be his brother. The plot darkens as fratricide is invoked. The author attempts to foil the somber tone by invoking a cheerful snack, but by then, it’s already too late.
Lena
Untitled
The pizza is sad. His name is John and he’s very sad. He doesn’t have any family. He sleeps and dreams of having a family. John puts his glasses down on the night table and he goes back to sleep.
Lena’s take is one of pure nihilism. Lacking family or friends, John is utterly alone. His only companion a pair of glasses and a night table, we are left to think of him in a roadside motel, alone, contemplating his final trip to the dumpster.
Joe
Nobody Wants Me
I think the drawing is called: “Nobody Wants Me”
I’m a sad piece of pizza.
Because nobody wants to eat me.
Why? I don’t know why.
No one ate me.
I am sad.
Joe’s tale might be the most tragic of all. Not only is our hero sad and unwanted, but he does not even know the cause of the rejection. He is neither bent nor broken. He is merely abandoned, and by the end of this prose poem, he has made the reader feel his wrenching pain. We, too, are abandoned. We, too, want nothing but to be eaten. We, too, feel the pain of being left to grow stale and moldy, alone in a cardboard box.
Perhaps knowing the sheer depths to which he has led us, Joe offers a hint of redemption by providing his own illustration. His pizza, by all accounts, is not as sad as Robbi’s.
I appreciate how Joe labeled all of the toppings. I have never had a tomato, olive, broccoli, and pineapple pizza before, but it seems to me that a pizza with that particular combination of toppings would have a hard time being sad.
Perhaps you, like, me, need to go find a Kleenex and wipe the tears from your eyes. It’s been a long time since I’ve read so many sad stories in one sitting. Or perhaps you are the sort of person who takes pleasure in hard-luck stories of hapless pieces of pizza?
Regardless, if you are interested in owning Robbi’s illustration, we have just posted it for auction on Ebay. The bidding ends next Monday at 12:30pm.
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