Hello all. Because this month’s theme is ice cream, I asked Matthew to write a story about ice cream. And so he did. It is called, “The Invention of Ice Cream,” and like pretty much all of the stories Matthew writes, he did about 15 seconds of research on this one. Meaning, don’t believe a word of it. It is what we call FICTION. Which is totally made up. Or if not totally, then mostly. I like fiction because a lot of times interesting things happen in fiction that wouldn’t happen in real life. Matthew likes fiction because every other kind of writing requires more than 15 seconds of research.

And so, without further ado:

The Invention of Ice Cream

A long time ago, back before Go Go Squeez and iPads, the world was a sad and terrible place. People ate bran and cod and corn on the cob without butter, and when their dinner was done, they went straight to bed. Or perhaps they played a dull game like horseshoes for a while before going to bed. But the point is that they didn’t eat dessert. And so they scowled themselves to sleep and had no pleasant dreams.
 
One day, a man named Dan had an idea. He lived in Vermont, which was always covered in snow. Dan hated snow. He hated being cold. “What if we could do something useful with all this snow?” he said. But Dan couldn’t think of a single useful thing to do with the snow, and so he spent his days making lists of words that did not rhyme with “cucumber.”
 
Down in Barbados was a girl named Shirley, whose house was surrounded by sugar cane. She would sometime suck on the sugar cane, which made her happy. Everyone else she knew was constantly miserable. But she could not convince everyone else to suck on the sugar cane. “That is beneath our dignity,” they would say, repeatedly, while eating their bran and cod. Shirley grew weary of the negativity and took a vacation to Appalachia.
 
Of course, you know what happened next. Dan got bitten by a demented beaver and Shirley (who just happened to be hiking on the same trail on the same day) used her Wonder Scout wilderness first aid skills to clean the wound and apply a bandage. While waiting for Dan’s leg to turn from purple back to its normal color, the two discussed their dreams, their favorite books, and the surplus of snow and sugar cane that plagued them, respectively.
 
Perhaps you’re thinking that Dan and Shirley got together and invented ice cream using Dan’s snow and Shirley’s sugar cane, but that’s not the case. Dan and Shirley shared a nice veal cutlet at a hunting lodge and then went their separate ways. Ice cream was invented by the Chinese around 3000 BC. The people in the towns where Dan and Shirley lived were miserable because they chose to be.
 
THE END.

And there you have it! The story of Dan and Shirley and how they had nothing to do with inventing ice cream or improving their neighbors’ lot in life.

I decided to draw an illustration to go with it. Dan is thinking about cucumbers, because cucumbers are easier to draw than snow.

Do you have any stories about ice cream you’d like to share? Enter them in the comments below, or add them to the Bobbledy Facebook Page (HERE) or email them to us (HERE). If you don’t have any ice cream stories, maybe you could enlighten us on whatever happened to Dan and Shirley (I sure hope Dan’s leg is okay). Have at it. Go write some stories. Or just tell them to someone else who can write it down for you. No research required!