For the very last day of Snake Month, I thought I’d pull out the real exciting stuff: if you didn’t think snakes were bad enough, how about FLYING snakes?
No. Not snakes on a plane. No no no.
Snakes that TRANSFORM THEIR BODIES and fly through the air like the slithery, squirmy, snakey snakes they are. Check it out:
GAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
This is just a short outtake of a much longer NatGeo video that can be found HERE. Beware, there are a few (very short) bits about things getting eaten that the tender-hearted might not like. But I have to say, Alden and I watched the whole thing raptly.
It was fascinating, and quite exciting.
There is a moment where the scientist gets bitten when he’s trying to capture one of the snakes for his flying snake experiment. Alden didn’t like that part one bit (get it?).
I explained to her that these were the things that scientists risk in their relentless pursuit of knowledge. And that if the snake had actually been poisonous, the scientist probably would have worn gloves and been a lot more careful.
Note that the video also features some super cute little fuzzy guys called colugos, probably to balance out all the creepy snake-ness. Totally worth the watch if you have 45 minutes to spare (or 4 1/2 sets of 10 minutes scattered throughout the day as we did).
At any rate, thanks for joining us for a month of SNAKES. I actually have to admit that I’m not as creeped out by them any more. Some of them are even downright cute (yes! I said it!). That said, I still don’t think I’ll be opening a snake petting zoo or anything anytime soon. Join us next month (tomorrow!) to find out more about our new theme!
Every time we send out a book to our Bobbledy club members, we also send a letter full of newsy bits. And we also send a drawing sheet—some sort of activity involving drawing implements and creativity. A recent sheet featured cutouts of Robbi’s and my heads and the opportunity to draw bodies for us. Little did we anticipate that readers would take the opportunity to stage morality plays with Robbi and me as the leading players.
For example, one young woman named Mo drew the following:
In case you can’t make out what’s happening above (I struggled to find altruism where there, apparently, was none), Mo’s mom Barb offers the following explanatory notes:
I’m so sorry, Matthew . . . you’re being attacked by hedgehogs. While Robbi has lovely long legs and a new bonnet. It’s like Mo knows you.
Indeed, Mo’s knowledge of our inner workings is astonishing (and alarming). I spend most nights in restless nightmares of being chased by hedgehogs, and Robbi spends most days dropping unsubtle hints that she would love me more if only I’d buy her a bonnet. She also pines for long legs but knows that even the most generous husband can’t help her on that front.
As discouraging as it was to see Mo’s drawing, her work was not done. Not nearly. As she continued, Mo drew snakes. And were the snakes, nice, small, sit-in-your-hand-nicely-while-you-try-to-get-over-your-fear-of-snakes sorts of snakes? No indeed. They were mean snakes. And their sole objective in life was going after me.
Quoth Barb:
Mo is still drawing, and now there are some snakes going after Matthew, too. Oh, the humanity!
How can I interpret the above profusion of red as anything but great heaps of blood? Or maybe it is the embodiment of agony? I cannot say. And it does not seem to matter. In spite of all the effort I put into making books for her to read, Mo seems to have it in for me. I guess I have to accept it.
The one small shred of comfort I can take is seeing that, in the course of all the me-centric carnage, Robbi seems to have lost her bonnet.
If any of you have been keeping track, you might have noticed that Everett sent us in a drawing of a Titanoboa last week. If you’re really in the loop, you might know that Everett is Simon’s brother. And that Simon is known for famously inventing very interesting and compelling “facts” about our different monthly themes.
As a third child, I should know not to judge a younger child on the actions/skills/talents of an older sibling (I was neither good at math (my older sister) nor lacrosse (my older brother))!
It turns out that Titanoboas are, in fact, not made up at all! They are HUGE snakes – about 40 feet long (that’s about the height of a 4-story building!!!). Their bellies are about waist-high. That’s a pretty big belly. And so you will be delighted to know that they also are 100% extinct.
They lived about 60 million years ago, right after the dinosaurs went extinct. I guess all the dinosaurs dying out left some room for giant, honking, terrifying snakes.
The Smithsonian Museum created a life-size fake version of a Titanoboa for a traveling exhibition. Here’s a pretty cool video that gives you a good sense of how huge they really were:
But more than that, this video gives you a good sense of what truly cool jobs there are out there in the world. Wouldn’t it be fun to spend your days making giant things out of styrofoam and plaster and paint (even if they were snakes)?
Hi Everyone –
I had been hoping that my study of snakes this month would help me overcome my ophidiophobia. Alas, it has not. It has, in fact, made me realize JUST HOW CREEPY SNAKES REALLY ARE.
For example, snakes are carnivores. Carnivores are animals who eat meat. Now, I don’t have a problem with that—some people (myself included) eat meat. No no, that’s not the problem. The problem is that snakes eat meat by unhinging their jaw and swallowing their meat whole. It is the grossest.
If you find this sort of thing fascinating, please feel free to click play on the video below. If this is the stuff of nightmares (which it is for me) then I will give you a play-by-play description below. Hold onto your lunch:
AUUGHGGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGHHHHHHH!!!! If I were allowed to use swear words on this blog, you can be sure that this is where I would use them. For those of you who didn’t watch the video, basically it shows an African Egg Eating Snake taking an egg that is WAY bigger than its head, opening up its mouth, bigger, and BIGGER and BIGGER until that egg is unbelievably completely swallowed. After it closes its mouth, it’s basically got a giant egg-shaped lump in its throat.
Then (apparently) it takes these bony little bits that are attached to its spine (INSIDE HIS BODY) to crack the egg. Then it kind of hurks and squeezes all the insides of the egg out into its belly and SPITS THE EGGSHELL BACK OUT in a neat little squooshed barf.
AUGGGHGHGHGGHGGHGHGHGGHGHGGHGGHGHHH!!! So, so gross. I really, really admire those of you who can watch that and not have your skin just go all goosebumps and creepy crawly.
Now, for the record, it turns out that African Egg Eating Snakes are actually quite shy and nervous. They don’t eat anything other than eggs and are totally non-threatening to people. Only threatening to eggs. And yet – and YET! I’m pretty sure if I ever saw one out and about on my next trip to Africa, I would surely scream like a baby.
I like my snakes to eat their eggs neatly, in an egg cup, with a wooden spoon please.
If there’s anyone out there interested in drawing a snake, drawing an egg, drawing a snake eating an egg, or writing about my egg-eating snake, we’d love to hear it. Email it to us and we’ll post it on the blog, or post it on the Bobbledy Facebookpage. And remember, one contributor every month gets a free book! (ps Simon, yes, we owe you a couple books now) (pps kids other than Simon, step up! Get your free book! The odds are in your favor!)
