Last week we asked kids to tell us the story of Sad Taco. Here he is.
Clearly he is sad. But how sad? And why?
I’ll let the kids tell you
Allison, second grade, age 7
Sad Taco is very very sad. He is sad beacause he is very soggy and no one wants to devour him. He is soggy beacuse he sneaked out of the store in the rain. He has 21 cousins, 4 brothers, 6 sisters, 5 ants, 5 uncles, 6 grandmas and 6 grandpas.
Lest you do not believe that such a magnificent story was really written by a seven-year-old, here is a photo of the story in its native form.
In case you wonder why the word “devour” is called out with green highlighter, a note from Allison’s mom reveals that the honor was bestowed because “devour” it is a “vigorous verb.” Apparently, Allison’s story also satisfied the requirements for a school writing exercise. Which just goes to show you that Bobbledy club members are not only wildly creative, but also quite shrewd.
Let’s have a closer look at Allison’s drawing of Sad Taco.
He’s such a cute little guy!
Moving on then to some individual and collaborative thoughts from brothers Milo and Huck.
Does That Taco Have Eyes?
What if there was a website called SadTaco.com and you could see videos and make your own videos about tacos?
Huck and Milo
Once upon a time, there was a taco. A thief taco took all the taco’s money. And the taco went crazy. Sad taco. Maybe they would poo. The end.
I am done laughing now, but it took a while. Thank you, Huck and Milo, for your fresh, surprising, and irreverent story (by default, any story containing the word “poo” is irreverent). Thanks also for your great idea about SadTaco.com. I am prepared to give you each 8% of the proceeds, but only if you promise to spend it on buying new shoes for your mom.
Continuing the brother act, here are some stories from Spencer and Tyler:
Taco Laco in my Baco
The Taco is going to get eaten. The end.
As a fellow writer, I appreciate the exquisite economy of Tyler’s narrative. No unnecessary detail. No unnecessary anything. I contend that Tyler has pared this story down to the bare minimum, making this the perfect story for readers on the go.
The taco is sad because someone threw him in the trash. The people threw him in the trash because people do not like tacos!! People are wasting $9,999,999,999,999. I typed this note myself!!!THE END!!!!!!!!!
Spencer’s mom confirms that this is, indeed, Spencer’s first story that he typed by himself. What she did not explain was his outrageous assertion that people don’t like tacos. In fact, everyone likes tacos. Apparently, everyone likes them enough to spend almost ten trillion dollars on them. I wonder if Spencer is referring to one really big taco or ten trillion normal sized ones. I guess if I had to eat ten trillion tacos, I might not like them as much as I do now. But I’m pretty sure I would still like them enough to not throw them in the trash.
One day in MoLana’s Kitchen a taco lied quietly in the back of the fridge. The taco was sad. He was sad because all of his friends were being eaten. But the main reason the taco was sad, was because that poor taco was rotting, and he wasn’t being put on a hot plate being served to a nice couple. The taco has tried to escape, and that is how he lost his lettuce. He lost his tomatoes while trying to make friends with the chicken. He had some friends, they were all friends. Although, the lemon’s and lime’s were kind of sour. The taco only had cheese and meat in its shell. One day he saw the main chef open the fridge’s door. “Finally! He might grab me!” Taco thought. And oh goody! The old chef grabbed taco and put him down on a warm plate. He gave the plate to Laya, the waiter. And then Laya brought the taco to a nice couple!! Taco was so happy he almost ran of the plate he was sitting on top of! The couple ate the taco. Now, the sad taco was in a man’s stomach with his taco friends! And taco met his bride, and they had a taco wedding! Mr. and Mrs. Taco lived happily ever.
Rotting tacos! A wrenching and poignant metaphor for the constant, demoralizing decline to which we are all prone upon turning 25. I am impressed with Lilah for understanding the fundamental tragedy of the human condition at such a young age. We all “lose our lettuce” sooner or later. Some of us even “lose our tomatoes.” I have reached the age at which I can honestly say that I “only have meat and cheese” in my “shell.” Which is to say, I am pretty much depressed all the time. Which is why Lilah’s tale of redemption is so meaningful to me. Reading it has filled me with newfound hope that I might one day be “eaten,” digested, and even married to a taco.
Once there was a taco. He was sad. This was because no one wanted to eat him because he had too much hot sauce. The next day, he decided he would think of how he would get rid of the hot sauce.
First, he tried to eat it. He ended up having to wash his mouth out.
Next, he tried rubbing it off. After that, he ended up having to put his hands on ice.
Then, he tried taking a bath. Instead of getting what he wanted, his shell softened. So he had to go into the laundry dryer.
To his surprise, the hot sauce flew off of him while he was in the dryer.
To make people like him more, he sprayed himself with sour cream.
Finally he was ready to be served in a restaurant.
Again, I have so much to learn from today’s youth. I have always wondered the best means of removing hot sauce from my body when thoroughly doused in the stuff (it happens more often than I care to admit). My only fear is that I won’t fit in the dryer, or that, if I do, I won’t dry out quite as elegantly as he did. I’m all for being entirely covered in sour cream, however. My only fear is that Robbi might eat me. She is a big fan of sour cream.
Sad Taco and Bad Nacho: A Tale of Sacrifice, Redemption.. and Guacamole
A FEW NOTES BEFORE WE BEGIN:
1) This was written by a man named Robbie, not an illustrator named Robbi.
2) This poem contains a few “adult themes,” but since they are written in Spanish, I will take comfort in knowing that only Spanish speaking children are at risk of being traumatized.
3) We at Bobbledy Books take the possibility of Spanish speaking children being traumatized very seriously. If you are a child who speaks Spanish, please do not read the seventh word of the fourth line of the third stanza.
You wanna know what happened to Sad Taco????
Sad Taco met Chad, a bad nacho
Those two had to share a platter though
Chad was a chip with a chip on his shoulder
Chad rubbed up against Sad and refused to move over
Chad abused Sad Taco from June to October
To boot, Chad was dipped in cerveza, a tad not sober
This is the saga of Chad and Sad Taco
Who shared a plato
In a restaurante owned by Maria and Paco
To annoy Sad Taco
Boy, there were no lengths Chad would not go
While drunk he would flip, poor helpless Sad Taco
Then dunk Sad in dip, the mol-ie of guac-o
The restaurante hijinks
Chad loved it a lot, though
Unthankful Sad said, “This stinks”
And wished for fine dining, to be flanked by gazpacho
Then one day, some miracle magic
Chad turned to Sad, and flatly said
“I’ve been a bad chip”
Chad finally sober
He and Sad buried the hatchet
Then both were eaten
By a fat guy named Patrick
My goodness, what rhymes. I think the above technically qualifies as an “epic poem,” which means you kids might read it again in high school. Provided you are not so traumatized by the seventh word of the fourth line of the third stanza to make it to high school. If you do not make it to high school as a result of reading this poem, we will feel terrible about ourselves. And Robbie (the man) will probably feel even worse.
And there you have it. Stories of Sad Taco. If, in the course of reading them, you have so thoroughly bonded with Mr. Taco that you want to take him home and try to cheer him up, feel free to mosey on over to Ebay. He is yours for the bidding until 12:30 EST on Sunday afternoon, at which point, some lucky person will have won the right to hang him on their wall. Or eat him in one sitting, as the case may be.
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